


Target Acquired

by WinterWitch611



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Brainwashing, Canon-Typical Violence, M/M, Pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-22
Updated: 2018-07-29
Packaged: 2019-06-14 05:31:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15381750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinterWitch611/pseuds/WinterWitch611
Summary: Tony convinces the team to take a mission based solely on intel he receives. Things seem to go smoothly until a trap is sprung. Bucky and Clint pay the price.





	1. Chapter 1

How did this happen? How did Clint end up here… watching this horrific scene unfold in front of his eyes? Maybe if he just closes them he can will it all away. But he can’t. Closing his eyes would mean he can’t look at Bucky. He needs to look at him. Burn Bucky’s image into his mind like this is the last time he’ll ever see him. ‘Oh god, am I going to have to watch him take his last breath?’

He can’t let his mind go there; that’s a thought he just can’t bear. Where’s the rest of the team? Why haven’t they found them yet?? Did the explosion kill them all?

He thinks he can actually hear his heart break…

 

~~~~~~~~~~~

 

**24 hours earlier** :

“Suit up! We have a mission!” Tony yells to the group hanging in the common area of the Tower, as he bounds into the room. This would be the tenth mission Bucky has gone on since being asked to join the Avengers. He is finally relaxing, really starting to feel like he is part of the team. He has Clint to thank for that. Steve will always be his best friend, his brother; but he just isn’t grasping what he’d gone through at the hands of Hydra. The horror show that has become his life, having his mind ripped out, played with and stuffed back in. But Clint… Clint understands, all too well.

“What is it this time? Aliens? Angsty Gods? Murderbots?” Natasha deadpans.

“Ummm.. no. For once I wish that were the case. Suit up... I’ll explain en route,” Tony quips, as he turns to leave the room. He stops mid stride, spins on his heels and looks at Bucky. “I just want to warn you, this is Hydra related. You can handle this, yeah?”

Bucky’s eyes widen. _‘Can I do this? What if I’m triggered and turn on my team?’_ Then the thought of revenge flashes through his mind. Possible freedom from the nightmares and panic attacks. “Yeah. I’ll be fine. I need to face my demons. End this once and for all.” Bucky hopes he’ll be fine… for everyone’s sake.

Once on board the QuinJet, with Natasha and Sam piloting, Tony begins to lay out the mission. There’s a newly discovered Hydra base that is in desperate need of fumigation. Stark has intel that they are attempting to create more Assets and this is the base where they were to be trained and stored. Tony is purposely vague when he mentions to Bucky that the mission is Hydra related. He knows they need Bucky’s knowledge of the inner workings of such a location. A small tinge of guilt hits Tony when he sees the look of terror on the former Asset’s face.

Clint jumps up. “What the fuck, Stark!? How could you keep those details from him? No way is he going in there. NO. WAY!” Clint can feel his heart slamming in his chest. After everything he and Bucky have been through. The nightmares that had them in each other’s arms trying to calm the fear. The panic attacks that only they could bring each other down from. The realization that it was more than friends helping each other; it was two souls that finally found their missing pieces. He is not about to stand there and watch the man he’s fallen in love with be ripped away and tortured all over again. “You can’t use people like this! Dick move, Stark. You’ve reached a new low,” Clint spits through clenched teeth.

Tony glares and they all know a tirade is coming, “Look, Katniss, I know you want to defend your boyfriend’s honor; but I think RoboCop can speak for himself. If he’s okay going in there then you need to accept that decision. It’s for the greater good. What do you think will happen if they succeed in making an army of Terminators? Are you going to adopt and housebreak all of them???!!” Tony points at Bucky, ”Look how long it took you with this one!”

Clint tries to lunge at Tony, but feels a sharp tug on his vest. Bucky pulls him back down to his seat and whispers, “I’m not worth it. Please, don’t.” Clint’s stomach drops. ' _How the hell could Bucky think he’s not worth it?_  ' Just as Clint turns to start yelling at Bucky, a booming voice silences them all.

“That’s enough, Stark!!” Steve’s had all he can take of this; the look on his best friend’s face is gut wrenching. “How can you stand there and talk about him like he’s some rabid stray we took pity on? He’s a human being with feelings and people that love him. Doesn’t matter that you don’t; Clint, and I, do! We’re not letting you use him for the sake of another notch in your belt. Is this mission important? Yes, it is. But at what cost?”

“And another country is heard from.” Tony is getting more annoyed. “Now you have to jump up and defend him too?? How about someone asks him how he feels?” Tony looks at Bucky. “So, Barnes, how do you feel about this? Do you think you can go in there without turning into a mindless zombie and trying to kill us all?”

Clint flinches. ' _Oh, Stark is really pushing his luck today.'_

Bucky is sitting, head down, staring at his feet. “I don’t know.” The words come out as a whisper. He really doesn’t know. If this is truly a base that is to be used to train Assets there will be a chair. No doubt about that. So if he were to be captured he could be wiped in a matter of minutes. That thought makes his blood run cold. He looks over at Clint and his head spins. ' _I can’t lose him. I WON’T lose him!_  ' He shudders at the thought.

When Bucky looks up, Steve is staring at him. His best friend knows that look, it’s the look of utter despair. The Captain starts to quickly form a plan. How can they complete this mission without risking Bucky’s mind? Or risking the safety of the team?

Natasha finally speaks up, yelling back to them over her shoulder, as she pilots the jet. “I’m sure he can give us a layout, Stark. He was kept on a similar base for decades.” She turns to Bucky. “You can, can’t you? You could probably walk us through it over comms, right?”

“I think I can.” Bucky really doesn’t want to go in there and risk everything. His life... his freedom… his friends lives… Clint. ' _Clint…am I being selfish? Am I only concerned about my happiness and his safety?_  ' “I don’t want to put all your lives at stake by going in there. One trigger and I’m trying to kill my family. Someone, please tell me you agree?” Bucky scans their faces for reaction.

Steve stands, nods at Bucky, and addresses the team. “Alright, this is what we’re gonna do. Natasha, and I, will establish a parimeter. Sam, you cover Tony, while he scans for the back entrance to the base. Bucky, and Clint, set yourselves in sniper positions at the front. Once we can access the base Bucky, will walk us through the layout, and tell us what to look for. We take out every Hydra agent in sight; destroy the Asset lab and all the equipment…especially the chair. Blow the base, and exit through the main entrance. Bucky, and Clint, you take out anyone who comes your way.”

Tony rolls his eyes and begins “Okay. Yeah. That’s a great idea. We go in blind while your buddy sits up in tree all safe and snug with his trusty sniper rifle.” Steve opens his mouth like he’s going to say something and Tony cuts him off to continue. “The reason I wanted him here was so he could help us INSIDE the base. I mean, c’mon man, let’s face facts. He’s the only one here that knows the in and outs of Hydra’s favorite party spots. Why would we want him OUTside??”

“Because… if he’s triggered or captured, we’ll be fighting him too! And I’m not about to be put in a position where I may have to take out my best friend to keep him from killing one of us!” Steve is getting angry. This mission could divide the team.

That fact becomes clear when Sam voices his opinion. “Look, you know I don’t agree with Stark very often, if at all. But I think in this case he may have a point.” Cap can’t believe what he’s hearing and Clint whips his head around to look at Sam. “WHAT? Explain?” The archer is shocked by what he’s hearing right now.

“You guys are worried about what MIGHT happen if Bucky enters the base, right? Well, what MIGHT happen if he doesn’t? We’re going in blind. There’s no guarantee that the layout of this base is identical to the others. What if he tells us to go left and it’s a dead end here? It just doesn’t seem like a great plan. I think there’s more risk to all of us if he DOESN’T go in.” Sam braces for the Captain and Clint’s reactions.

It’s Bucky who speaks first though. He swallows before he starts because he’s about to say things he really doesn’t want the team to hear. Some things are private, personal; but he needs this to be heard by the person who matters most to him. He turns and takes Clint’s hands in his. “Clint,” Bucky takes a deep breath and tries to get the words out before he changes his mind. “You mean everything to me. You’ve helped me deal with some of the horrible things I’ve done; and you never made me feel like I was ‘less than’ because of it. You showed me how to love and be loved. The thought of losing what we have— losing you, it’s killing me.” Bucky clenches his eyes shut and shudders. “But, Sam and Tony have a point. I’d be more help on the inside. I think you’d all be at a huge disadvantage if I don’t go in. Sacrificing the team’s safety isn’t something I’m willing to do. We can do this. All of us together. I know we can. Please, tell me you understand.”

The Archer squeezes his boyfriend’s hands and huffs. “This is your decision to make. Doesn’t mean I have to like it… or agree with it. I can’t tell you what to do; but, I do understand.” Clint pulls Bucky to his chest and holds him tightly.

Being the greatest mood killer that ever lived, Tony takes this opportunity to voice his pleasure with the former Asset’s revelation. “Now that that’s settled, let’s put a game plan together!” He turns to look at Cap. “Okay, Capsicle. Run it! This time with feeling! Chop Chop!”

Steve glares at Stark. His insensitivity is astounding at times. “The plan stands as called, with one exception; Bucky waits with me and Nat for Tony to find the back way in. The five of us enter together. Clint, you’re still on sniper detail out front.”

Clint nods.

The quinjet begins to descend. The whole team is silent. Each thinking about what they’re about to do. They’ve always worked as a well oiled machine; anticipating each other’s moves is second nature. There is no reason to think this mission would be anything but a success. Later tonight they’d be sitting around the Tower… nursing wounds… watching movies… busting on each other. They will, right? That’s the inevitable outcome… isn’t it?

As they land they look at each other and think, _‘Six of us in. Six of us out. No exceptions.’_

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

They’re all in position. Clint finds the perfect perch high in a treetop just outside the front of the base. He usually takes the time to test the strength of the branches at different levels of the tree; but in this instance there’s just not enough time. Tony finds the back entrance to the base in record time. It’s almost too fast.

A voice crackles over comms. “Okay, Barton, we’re in.” Cap says.

The Archer thinks, _‘This is going way too smoothly.. It almost feels like Hydra knew we were coming and just rolled out the welcome mat.’_

Once inside the base the five team members start to fan out and search for any agents that may be lurking around; but they seem to be alone. Tony scans for heat signatures and find none. Okay, this is getting a little unnerving. Is the base deserted? That’s not what the informant had told Stark. This guy is always paid handsomely for information that pans out. Why would he start lying now?

They continue with the search for the Asset lab and the storage area. A short while later, they find what they’re looking for. Bucky stands in the doorway wide eyed and frozen in place. He’s staring at the chair. His heart is pounding so loudly he’s sure it’s echoing off the walls in the empty room. As badly as he wants to be the one to destroy it, he can’t be in here. He can’t be this close to the thing that stole his memory, over and over, for 70 years. He starts to back out of the doorway and backs into Nat.

“I can’t do it. I can’t go in there.”

She places a hand on his back and says “It’s okay. We’ve got it.”

Bucky leans back against the wall outside the lab. Just then Clint’s voice crackles in his ear. “Hey, you guys okay? What’s going on in there? Whole lotta nothin goin’ on out here. Not a soul in sight.” Bucky answers him, “No one in here either. It’s kinda creepy. We did find the lab though. The team is taking it out now. I couldn’t go in there.”

Clint knows how Bucky feels. After what Loki did to him, hijacking his mind the way he did; he doesn’t think he could face the instrument of his torture either. “I don’t blame you. No one can blame you. We’ve all got your back on this one. Trust me.” Clint hopes his boyfriend believes what he’s telling him. He means every word.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

As Bucky leans against the wall outside the lab, he looks around and gets the strange feeling that they’re being watched. He doesn’t see anything, or anyone, but he just can’t shake the feeling that something isn’t right. As he wanders down the hallway, outside the lab, he gets an uneasy feeling. He turns and heads back toward the team. A moment later his gaze is drawn to a vent in the ceiling. A small red light can be seen, ‘OH God, what’s wrong with me?? This is Sniper 101.. No one EVER looks UP!’ He opens his mouth to warn his friends just as an explosion occurs. He’s knocked to the ground, dazed. _‘This is all my fault.’_ The thought is all consuming, but he has to get the team out of here before they’re all killed. He shakes off the debris covering his body and realizes the entrance to the lab is destroyed.

“STEVE??” Bucky calls out in a panic. “STEVE, GODDAMNIT, CAN YOU HEAR ME?” There’s no answer. Just static.

Bucky tries to move the debris, but he needs help. Everything he moves causes more to fall in its place. He needs Clint, they can do this together. The comms are down so he runs toward the front of the base; his mind is racing.

“GUYS?! What was that?! Bucky?! Are you okay?!” Clint hears, and feels, the explosion. His mind races. “Nat… Steve… come on… Tell me you’re all okay!” he demands.

Nothing. Nothing but static.

Ok, fuck this! I have to see if they’re ok! Just as Clint begins his descent from the treetop, the second branch he steps on gives way. He falls to the ground, scraped and bruised, but otherwise unharmed. He lies on the ground a moment to assess the damage. Once he’s sure nothing is broken he pushes himself up and gets to his feet. He can hear voices and hopes it’s the team. After a short stagger toward the edge of the wooded area, Clint freezes. His eyes widen and his stomach drops.

Just as Bucky steps out and looks up to the trees to locate Clint, he’s hit with a high powered taser. He sinks to his knees, shock and terror cloud his features. His mind races. _'Not again. No ...not the goddamn neurotoxin.'_ Before he can even finish the thought, he feels his body go numb. The shot in the neck always followed the taser. He feels the needle pierce his flesh, and he knows what’s next. All of his worst nightmares are coming true and it happens in seconds.

Although time is moving normally, Clint sees everything happen in slow motion. His heart races as he raises his bow and takes aim. Just then, a loud crackle through the comms distracts him for a split second. That distraction causes something that has never happened before— Clint misses his target. It’s never happened and now, NOW that it means the life or death of the person he loves most. The gravity of the situation overwhelms him.

“Agent Barton, come join your friend,” the smug HYDRA agent snarls. “Two for the price of one! I see a promotion in my future.”

Clint decides since he’s outnumbered, and Bucky is unconscious; it would be best to surrender. He hopes this will buy him some time— buy the team some time.

_'The team… please let them be okay'._

As he limps toward the agents he drops his bow. Takes a few more steps and drops his arrows.

_'This is all your fault, you goddamn disaster. You had ONE job!'_

“On your knees, Agent Barton.” Mr. Smug begins, as Clint drops to the ground. “Arms up. Behind your head. NOW!” He looks at the man standing closest to kneeling archer. “Search him. Check for trackers and comms. We don’t need any surprise visitors where we’re going.” After a thorough and uncomfortable pat down, “Nothing on him,” he reports.

“Come on now, Agent Barton, we found The Assets comm. Where is yours? NO chance you don’t have one!” their captor demands as he storms toward Clint.

“I fell out of a tree,” he replies. “I lost it. What do you want me to tell you?”

As the HYDRA agents fist connects with his face he thinks he should probably just shut his mouth. He’ll be of no use to Bucky, if he gets himself killed.

The agent turns and gestures to another HYDRA thug. “You know what to do, Rollins. Take care of him then load them both on the truck.”

Clint braces for what’s coming. A bullet, a knife… whatever it is, he’s ready. He thought he was ready. Rollins begins to beat him into unconsciousness, as his body goes numb his only thought is Bucky. He wishes they were anywhere but here…

Anywhere.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team realizes Bucky and Clint have been taken.

Steve gets to his feet and tries to assess the situation. The room is a thick cloud of dust. He can barely see his hand in front of his face. “What the hell was that?” he asks. “Is everyone okay? Nat? Sam?” No answer. “Tony?” There’s a shift in the debris and a low moan coming from the corner of the room. Steve makes his way toward the sound.

“Seriously?” Sam coughs between responses. “I hate these assholes more everyday.”

“I second that,” Nat says, as she pulls herself from a pile of rubble.

“Yeah well, I’m going to make sure another building, or two, lands on Rumlow.” Steve replies. “This ambush has his name all over it.”

“I have to agree, Cap,” Tony says, as he gets to his feet. He shakes his head to try to clear it. Of course his helmet was down when the explosion went off. That’s the kind of luck he has.

Steve makes his way to where the doorway was. “BUCKY?!” He shouts hoping his friend is okay on the other side of the collapse. No response. Steve taps at the comm in his ear, “Clint? Can you hear me? Is Bucky out there with you?”

Static.

“We have to get out of here. If Rumlow is behind this I’m sure Bucky is the target. I’ll bet becoming the Asset’s new handler is his goal. No doubt in my mind.” Steve is determined to get to his friend. He starts throwing huge chunks of debris out of the way, narrowly missing the others.

“Whoa!!!” Tony says as he ducks a chunk of concrete. “Cap! Stop!”

“You have a better idea, Stark?!” Steve snaps, “Then let’s hear it!”.

“Yeah, I have a better idea.” Tony closes his helmet and aims at the top of the pile in the doorway. “Everyone get back. Cap, shield up!”

Once he sees they’re clear, Tony fires. The hit rocks the room. More of the ceiling starts to fall as they all run for the hole Tony created. Nat dives through first, making it look easy. Sam follows, almost getting stuck, but eventually falls, gracelessly, to the floor on the other side. Tony is next, using his suit to try to make the hole bigger for Steve to fit his Super Soldier frame through. He makes it to the other side to join his friends and hits the ground running. They follow him hoping to find the others safe on the outside. That hope dies when they reach the clearing just outside.

On the ground is Clint’s quiver of arrows. A few paces toward the woods, his bow lays abandoned. Steve drops to his knees and picks it up gently.

“They have them.” Steve says, whisper like. “No way Clint would leave this behind willingly.”

Natasha approaches, and drops next to him. “We’ll get them back. We’ll make them pay for this, Steve”, she promises.

“C’mon, Cap.” Sam grabs Steve by the arm, trying to get him to his feet. “We need to try to track them.” He looks at Tony “Can FRIDAY help us?”

“FRIDAY?” Tony asks seemingly to no one.

“Yes, boss,” the AI replies.

“Start analyzing any data that was uploaded from Barnes and Barton’s comms before they went offline. If any of the spy training Nat drilled into Legolas kicked in before they were taken, maybe he gave us something to work with.”

“But Boss,” FRIDAY responds, “Agent Barton’s communicator isn’t offline. It’s still transmitting.”

“WHAT?” Steve jumps to his feet suddenly energized, “It’s transmitting? Where are they!?”

“The signal is right in front of you, Captain.” FRIDAY directs. “I’ll analyze the data now.”

“Right in front of me? There’s nothing right in front of me!!” Steve isn’t in the mood for riddles. “FRIDAY what are you talking about?,” he demands.

“Steve, look closer.” Natasha points to Clint’s quiver. Steve gets up, grabs it and hands it to her. “I guess you know what you’re looking for?” he asks. It comes out a little harsher than he intended. He almost feels bad… almost.

Natasha quickly looks over the object in her hand. It takes seconds for her to find Clint’s comm stuffed in a small tear in the strap. “Good job, my hawk,” she whispers to herself. “Got it. He left it on,” she says, so they can all hear her.

“FRIDAY? Do you have anything yet?,” Tony asks. “Gimme something,” his patience is wearing thin.

“Yes, boss,” the AI responds. “The last few minutes of the recording should prove helpful in locating Agent Barton, and Agent Barnes.”

“Play it back, NOW!” he barks. “We could be running out of time.” FRIDAY manages to get all their comms working again. The recording begins to play and they all freeze in place.

**“Agent Barton, come join your friend.”**

**“Two for the price of one! I see a promotion in my future.”**

**“On your knees, Agent Barton.”**

**“Arms up. Behind your head. NOW!”**

**“Search him. Check for trackers and comms. We don’t need any surprise visitors where we’re going”**

**“Nothing on him.”**

**“Come on now, Agent Barton. We found The Assets comm. Where is yours? NO chance you don’t have one!”**

**“I fell out of a tree. I lost it. What do you want me to tell you?”**

**“You know what to do, Rollins. Take care of him then load them both on the truck.”**

**“Alright let’s get out of here. We have an Asset that needs to be reset”**

**“Split up. Make sure we aren’t followed. Davis, you and Jackson, take them to boss. He’s waiting at the new lab outside DC. Don’t stop for anything. No telling how long until this thing wakes up.”**

**“You got it, boss. We should be there in about an hour if I drive. Let’s go, Jackson!”**

**“Target Acquired. We’re bringing him in now.”**

As the recording ends, Steve looks like he’s going to throw up and Natasha is seething with anger. They look at each other, nod, and begin a sprint to the jet. Sam and Tony fly ahead of them.

“FRIDAY? Start calculating a flight plan and possible search area. Look for any structure that’s reinforced, or extends underground, within that area.” Tony commands. “And check all traffic cams for a large truck leaving this area heading south.”

“Yes, boss. Right away.” she replies. Within minutes they’re all on board the jet. Natasha begins prepping for takeoff. Steve and Sam strap themselves into their seats as Tony disengages his armor and joins them. He sits next to the Captain and rest his hand on the other man’s shoulder.

“We got this, Cap. We’re going to get them back.”

Steve drops his head, “I can’t lose him again. Not again.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Clint realize who they're dealing with. Bucky's worst fear is becoming reality.

They are roaring down the highway when Clint begins to wake up. His head feels like someone brained him with a cinderblock. His eyes won’t focus and he can’t feel his limbs. He slowly begins to realize he’s strapped to a metal chair. The chair is welded to the floor of the fast moving armored vehicle; Clint feels like he’s going to throw up.

_Concussion._

_Great._

_Where the hell am I?_ he thinks.

He tries to speak but nothing comes out. He feels like he’s awake but trapped in his body. More time is needed to recover from the beating Rollins gave him. Through clouded vision, Clint sees a silhouette start to stir. Someone is next to him.

_Please let that be Bucky._

His mind begins to race. He can’t defend himself in the state he’s in.

“Clint?” a familiar voice asks.

_Oh my god, it IS Bucky. Come on, you weak asshole. Snap out of it!_ he thinks to himself.

“Yeah, Buck. It’s me,” Clint mumbles. The pain in his jaw screaming with every word.

“It’s okay.” Bucky says. “We’re gonna be okay.”

He hopes he’s not lying.

Bucky’s Super Soldier metabolism is burning up the toxin at a faster rate than they calculated. He shouldn’t be awake yet. He needs to get free. While testing his restraints he realizes he’s still compromised. It’s not out of his system yet. The bastards also deactivated his arm. Without the added strength, of the metal limb, it isn’t going to be easy to free himself.

As he struggles his mind goes to his boyfriend. He has to get him out of this. It’s the Asset they want. The archer is just collateral damage.

The truck begins to slow down. They must be close to their destination. Both men can feel their heart rates pick up. They look at each other, neither man knowing what to say. It feels like this could be the end. What do you say in a moment like this? There’s not enough time. Not nearly enough time to explain how deep the feelings run. As Bucky starts to say something the truck comes to a stop. Now there’s no time at all. The back doors of the truck open. There he stands, Brock Rumlow, HYDRA’s biggest thug. Bucky hopes he’ll get the chance to wipe that smug look off his face.

“Well… well… WELL! Look what we have here,” Rumlow begins. “The world’s deadliest assassin strapped down like a helpless little bitch. It’s like Christmas!!”  

“My gift to you will be an arrow through your goddamn eyeball,” Clint growls.

“One more word outta you, and I’ll shut that pretty mouth for good, asshole.” Rumlow isn’t about to take shit from anybody. He is feeling invincible right now. And he wants to show his men just how powerful he can be.

“Rollins, get that thing out here. We have to get him reset and back to work. I have just the target in mind.”

Bucky knows who the target is. Rumlow has a hatred for Captain America that runs bone deep. As Rollins releases the straps that are holding Bucky down, he leans in and says, through gritted teeth, “Don’t even think about it, fucker. There are 4 guns aimed at your head and 2 more aimed at your buddy.”

“And I’m going to kill every last one of you, slowly and painfully, if you touch him again.” Bucky returns the threat.

Rollins refuses to be threatened in front of Rumlow, or his men, without there being repercussions. The crack of Bucky’s skull as the the butt of Rollins’ gun makes contact is enough to make Clint’s stomach roll.

“I’m gonna kill you first,” Clint says looking right at Rollins. “I promise you it’s going to hurt.”

“Enough!!” Rumlow shouts. “Get these pieces of shit inside. I’m done playing games!”

As they are being dragged into the building, Clint quickly looks at his surroundings for anything that can be used as a landmark. Sadly, all he sees are trees and an abandoned looking building. Once he sees the inside of the structure, he’s pretty sure they aren’t getting out of this intact.

While the outside looks abandoned, the inside is a state of the art, fully functional, HYDRA base. Clint realizes he is standing in the middle of Bucky’s worst nightmare. He looks at his boyfriend, and his heart sinks. Blood is streaming from the blow he took to the head. His eyes are blank and dead. In the back of his mind, Clint hoped Bucky is dazed or concussed. At least if that were the case he might not realize what is about to happen to him. Maybe that would give him a few moments of peace before his memory is ripped from him once again.

They are led deeper into the facility until they come to a room with a large steel door. Bucky is pushed into the room first, and forced to his knees. Clint follows, however, he is allowed to remain standing.

“Welcome home, Soldier!!” Rumlow bellows, as he spreads his arms in a condescending gesture. Bucky doesn’t react. His head hangs low. It’s almost like he’s resigned himself to his fate. Clint wants to scream, _NO! FIGHT! What are you doing!?_

“Don’t hurt him.” It is a barely audible whisper.

“What did you just say to me, Soldier?” Rumlow demands. “You’re hardly in a position to be making demands.”

Bucky raises his head and makes eye contact with his tormentor.

“You heard me,” he begins, “don’t hurt him and I won’t resist. He goes free and you get your Asset back without a fight.”

“NO!! No fuckin’ way!!” Clint yells. “How the hell can you make that kind of deal? I’d rather die than watch you get turned back into their mindless assassin.”

“Oh yeah?” Rumlow asks. “Alright, deal. But I promise you this, one fucked up move and I’ll blow his brains out right in front of you.”

Bucky turns his body as far as he can to try to look Clint in the eye. When he does, Clint’s demeanor changes. He knows that look. This is it.  

**How did this happen? How did Clint end up here… watching this horrific scene unfold in front of his eyes? Maybe if he just closes them he can will it all away. But he can’t. Closing his eyes would mean he can’t look at Bucky. He needs to look at him. Burn Bucky’s image into his mind like this is the last time he’ll ever see him. ‘** **_Oh god, am I going to have to watch him take his last breath?’_ **

Memories begin to flood Clint’s mind.

After a horrific nightmare woke him with a terrified scream, Bucky revealed a terrible detail of his time as the Asset.

“There’s something you need to know,” he said with a sigh.

“I won’t ever let them turn me into a killer again. I always fought back against the programming. The fighting back is what kept me alive. I had nothing to live for but I didn’t want to die.” he confessed.

“I need you to understand. Even though I have you to live for now, if I get captured again,  I’m not going to fight it. I’ll let it kill me this time… I’ll never kill for them again… I’m sorry.”

**He can’t let his mind go there; that’s a thought he just can’t bear. Where’s the rest of the team? Why haven’t they found them yet?? Did the explosion kill them all?**

**He thinks he can actually hear his heart break…**


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky's will is stronger than he imagined.   
> Clint is seriously injured.   
> The team races to try to save them both.

“Alright then! Let’s get this party started!” Rumlow yells to his thugs.

There is a flurry of activity. Rollins grabs Clint, and slams him against a wall. He cuffs him to a metal pole that extends floor to ceiling.

“Enjoy the show, asshole,” he says before he spits in Clint’s face.

He doesn’t want to react. He can’t give this bastard the satisfaction of breaking him. He wants to scream. He wants to cry. He won’t, he’ll give Bucky the dignity of his choice and refuses to make this harder on him. This isn’t about Clint. It’s not his life being ripped away. 

As Rollins walks away, Clint think about how much he’s going to enjoy killing him.

Bucky is locked into the chair as technicians take their places behind a control panel. One tech approaches and presents a rubber mouthpiece. He opens his mouth and takes it without resistance. He notices a red book, with a black star on the cover, laying on a table close by. He knows exactly what’s next. Rumlow struts over to the table and starts thumbing through the pages. When he finds what he’s looking for his eyes light up, and an evil smirk spreads across his face. 

He points to the technician behind the control panel. A device lowers around Bucky’s head and locks in place. As the power is increased, his body tenses and begins to shake. He won’t fight it. He won’t scream. He doesn’t want to become a mindless assassin again. He hopes it kills him this time. 

It doesn’t. 

A single tear rolls down Clint’s cheek. He looks for any sign that the man he loves is still there. His hope fades when all he sees are blank, dead eyes, staring at nothing. He’s gone... 

Bucky is gone. Replaced with the Asset. The machine lifts away and settles back in place. No one makes a sound as they wait for Rumlow to complete the activation. He begins to speak the words that will reset their precious weapon.

“Желание… Ржавый… Семнадцать...” ( _ Longing… Rusted… Seventeen... _ )

The Asset tips his head back and closes his eyes.

“Рассвет...Печь… Девять…” ( _ Daybreak… Furnace… Nine… _ )

The Asset’s head lolls to one side.

“Добросердечный… Возвращение на родину… Один…”( _ Benign… Homecoming… One… _ )

The Asset shakes his head like he’s trying to clear his mind.

“Грузовой вагон” ( _ Freight car. _ )

The Asset freezes; his eyes fly open.

“Солдат?” ( _ Soldier? _ )

“Я готов отвечать” ( _ Ready to comply _ .), the Asset replies. He stands before his handler at complete attention and awaits his orders. 

“Reactivate that arm,”Rumlow commands. “We have to have our weapon in perfect working order now don’t we?”

He looks giddy yet, slightly, distracted.  _ This is too easy. I should have been promoted years ago. I get shit done! _   His arrogance causes him to lose focus. A competent leader wouldn’t have missed when the Asset’s eyes quickly glanced to the left. Rumlow may have missed it; but Clint didn’t. Bucky is still in there. All they need is a window of opportunity and this nightmare can end. 

“Do you all see how easy this was? I make controlling this thing look like child’s play!” Rumlow gloats. “I bet I can get this weak minded piece of shit to take out that whole team of costume clad losers!” He turns to the Asset. “When they show up, you’re going to turn this place into a slaughterhouse for me. Ain’t ya, baby?” 

Rollins whips his head around and glares at Rumlow.

“Okay, everybody OUT!” He knows he’s about to get into it with Rollins and doesn’t need the men distracted. There’s a fight coming even if they don’t know it yet. “Secure the perimeter. I want at least 4 men on the roof,” he commands. “Those clowns are resourceful. We need to be ready for anything.”

“Hail HYDRA!” The men shout in unison then begin to file out of the room to take their posts.

Rollins stays behind. He needs to know what Rumlow has really gotten them into.

“What do you mean by WHEN they show up? Did you lead them here?” Suddenly a thought crosses his mind and he hopes to hell he’s wrong. “You weren’t trying to kill them at the base, were you? You want to watch this … this THING kill them!” He points at the Asset. “It’s all a goddamn game to you isn’t it!?”, Rollins says, his face flush with anger. “You’re gonna get us all killed, you fuck!”

The sound of Rollins jaw breaking as Rumlow’s fist connected with his face was sickening. He crumbles to the ground and a pool of crimson begins to form around his head. Brock grabs his head and twists, finishing the job. 

“When I want your opinion, I’ll fucking ask for it!” he yells at Rollins prone form.

“Hey, asshole,” Clint says with venom in his voice, “I have an opinion. Wanna hear it?”

Rumlow turns to face the archer, he is not amused. He already warned Clint if he opened his mouth again he was going to have it shut permanently. Looks like he’s being taken up on that threat.

“You just don’t know when to quit do you?” he spits as he stomps over to where Clint is cuffed.

“So you’re going to beat the shit out of a man that’s chained to a pole?” he asks. “How about you release me and we square up the odds?” he adds with a smirk.

“You know what? Let’s do this!” Rumlow is confident he has the upperhand here. If, somehow, the smaller man gets the drop on him, he has the Asset to finish the job. He releases Clint and takes a few steps back. “You don’t have your bow. You don’t have your guns. And now you don’t have your pet robot to help you.” he says as he jerks a thumb toward Bucky. “This shouldn’t take long at all!” 

The first blow Clint takes is a direct hit to the jaw. He feels it crack. His eyes water.  _ Great idea, Barton. This is gonna end well.  _ He thinks Rumlow is toying with him. If the shot Rollins took to the jaw all but killed him, how is Clint still standing?

“On second thought, this could be fun. Beating you to death in front for your buddy while he watches, helplessly.” He’s taunting Clint. He’s unaware of the fact that he’s taunting Bucky too. 

The fight continues. Rumlow lands crushing blow after crushing blow. Clint manages a few good hits but in his weakened state, it’s not enough. He’s on the ground getting kicked and spit on when he looks to Bucky for help; his eyes pleading. Bucky is trying. He’s frozen in place trying desperately to get his body to obey his mind. The part of his mind he has control of is screaming. His right hand twitches. 

_ Come on, god damn it!   _ Bucky needs his body to cooperate before there’s nothing left of his boyfriend to save. He feels control slowly coming back to him. One limb at a time. It’s taking too long. The minutes tick by. Clint won’t last much longer.  _ This is all my fault.  _ He shouldn’t have glanced at Clint earlier. He gave him the wrong impression. All he wanted was for his partner to know he was still there. That he wasn’t completely wiped away. Clint didn’t realize he hadn’t actually regained control over his body.

Until now. 

“So much for being one of Earth’s mightiest heroes, huh Barton?”, Rumlow says as he lands another hit to Clint’s head. There’s blood dripping from his fist as he pulls back to deliver the death blow; but someone grabs his arm. “What the fu--?” He isn’t able to finish the sentence before his arm snaps and he’s screaming in pain. 

солдат! что ты делаешь?( _ Soldier! What are you doing? _ ), Rumlow asks.

“What I’m doing, is killing you!” Bucky responds, as he grabs the wrist of the man’s broken arm. He howls in pain. The beating that follows is vicious. He wants it to last, to make him suffer the way he made Clint suffer. Then suddenly an alarm sounds, drawing his attention. Something is happening. He hears gunshots and feels the walls shake after a blast. He doesn’t know what to expect so he finishes Rumlow with a quick snap of the neck and refocuses his attention on Clint. He has to protect him no matter what the cost. He’s prepared to fight when the door is ripped from its hinges but there’s no need; a familiar form enters the room.

“STEVE!”

“Bucky! Jesus Christ, are you okay?” Steve sees the blood all over Bucky’s tac gear. He grabs him and starts looking for wounds. He’s met with a shove.

“It’s not mine, it’s his!” He points to the battered heap on the floor that used to be Brock Rumlow. Bucky kicks him for good measure. 

“Buck! Stop!” Steve shouts. Bucky ignores him; one more kick. He spits on Rumlow and then rushes to Clint’s side.

He cradles his boyfriend’s head, “Clint? Can you hear me?” He tries to gently wipe the blood from his eyes. “Please, I’m so sorry. Talk to me,” he pleads. “Open your eyes. Come on, please. Just open your eyes for me.” Clint’s eyes start to flutter open but he can’t focus. He doesn’t know where he is or who is touching him. He begins to flail and scream. Bucky tries to hold him down without hurting him. It’s not working. He’s screaming in pain and nothing is calming him. 

Bucky to attempts pick him up. He cries out in pain as soon as he’s touched making Bucky flinch. 

“Steve, please. Help me. I don’t want to hurt him.” Bucky pleads. “I hurt him enough already.”

Even though Steve tries to lift him as gently as he can, he knows the movement must be unbearable; Clint passes out. He lays him on a nearby table and begins ripping through cabinets and drawers looking for anything that might help ease Clint’s pain.

“There has to be something here we can use,” he says as he continues to search. 

“I’m to blame. If it wasn’t for me, none of you would be hurt right now,” Bucky says quietly. He closes his eyes for a moment and takes a deep breath. When his eyes open it’s almost like he’s a different person. His expression so cold, it makes Steve shiver. 

“Where are they?” he growls as he heads toward the door. 

Bucky, no not Bucky... the Soldier struts toward the door. They wanted their weapon back? Well, they got him. Only they didn’t realize a miscalculation in the programming allowed for a small gap, a glitch, so to speak. He can control the Soldier now. It’s fully realized when his anger surpasses his heartache and a calm control overtakes him. 

“Bucky no! Let the team handle it.” Steve knows he’ll kill everyone that crosses his path. That’s not how they handle things. The Asset wants his revenge. Steve knows there’s no time to lose if he wants to give the team a chance to get the rest of the HYDRA thugs in custody before they suffer Rumlow’s fate.

“Please, stop! Come on. You don’t have to do this,” Steve pleads. “We got most of them on the way in. The team can round up the rest. Coulson is in route. It’s handled.” The Soldier doesn’t stop. “Buck!! Damn it, think of Clint!!” The Soldier freezes. “We have to get him out of here. He’s in pain. He needs help, Bucky… he needs you, don’t turn your back on him!” 

“WHAT!?” Bucky whips his head around and glares at Steve. “I would never turn my back on him. NEVER!”

“There’s nothing here to help with his pain. If we don’t move him before he regains consciousness, he’ll be in agony. Your revenge isn’t worth his suffering.” It’s a low blow and he knows it. “Now help me! Make sure we’re clear.” Bucky looks stunned by Steve’s words. “Move. Soldier!” That snaps him out of it, and makes Steve feel horrible for speaking to his best friend that way. He needs to get through to him. There’s no time for emotion. 

Bucky takes the lead as they leave the room. Steve stays a few steps behind him, carrying Clint. As they move down the hallway, they aren’t met with any resistance. The sound of gunshots and repulsor blasts just outside the exit suddenly stops. There’s a crackle in the comms as Nat gives the all-clear. 

“Roger that,” Steve responds. “We’re clear, Buck. Let’s get Clint out of here.”

They exit the building and right into a chaotic scene. The dust is still settling. Coulson and his men are taking the HYDRA agents, that are still able to stand, into custody. Natasha sees them emerge from the building and runs toward them. 

“Tony, we need evac!” Nat yells. “It’s Clint. It’s bad.” 

With extreme urgency in his voice Tony calls out, “Sam, get the jet ready. Coulson is on clean up. Clint is priority.” 

Tony lands in front of Steve. He lifts his face plate to get a better look at Clint. 

“Oh, God. Okay. No Time. Let’s get you home, Legolas!” He extends his arms. Steve places Clint in Tony’s care and watches as they soar toward the awaiting QuinJet. 

Nat begins to run toward jet. Steve and Bucky follow. Sam is ready to take off as soon as they board. He’s hurt, but can’t think about that right now. Clint looks like he’s at death’s door and like Tony said, he’s the priority. 

Tony is out of his suit, has already strapped Clint in and is now hooking up an IV. He doesn’t waste any time. Even though he’s obviously helping right now, all Bucky sees is the man that put them in this situation to begin with. He sees red. In a flash Steve is trying to pry Bucky’s fingers from around Tony’s throat. 

“Bucky! Let go! He’s trying to help!” Steve can’t get Bucky to release the man.

“Help? He’s trying to HELP?” Bucky is livid. “He’s the one that led us here. He’s the one that put his trust in bad intel and now Clint is paying the price!”

“James,” Natasha appears at his side and places her hand on his arm to try to ground him. “Let him go. He would never try to hurt any of us on purpose.”

Bucky releases his hold and Tony slumps to the floor holding his neck.

“I’m sorry.” Tony rasps. “I….”

He’s cut off as Clint begins to wake up. Once again, he’s confused by his surroundings and begins to thrash against his restraints. Bucky rushes to his side and tries to comfort him. He stills for a moment but his calm doesn’t last. As he regains consciousness he also regains the intense pain from his injuries. He cries out. Nat kneels beside the gurney he’s on and tries to soothe him,  “ все в порядке, мой ястреб. я здесь с тобой.”( _ It’s alright, my hawk. I am here with you _ .), she whispers.  Words he recognizes as hers help him settle. “ты в безопасности”( _ You are safe _ .),she assures him. He begins to calm as she gently strokes his hair.  

A single tear slips from the corner of Bucky’s eye. “Why?” It’s all he wants to know. “They wanted me. They had me. Why did that asshole have to hurt him like this. What the fuck was the point?”he asks quietly, as he strokes the back of Clint’s hand. He wants to scream. He wants to hit something. He wants his boyfriend to be sitting next to him trying to figure out which size Band-Aids he needs this time. Band-Aids… not pins and plates; not IVs and blood transfusions. He leans forward and rests his head as close to Clint as he can get. He wishes they could wake up from this horrible nightmare they’re trapped in.

Natasha sits opposite Bucky. Holding Clint’s other hand and softly whispering in his ear. No one can hear her, even if they can, they’d never speak of it. Even though they consider themselves a family there are times when something personal, and private, shouldn’t be shared with the group. Natasha loves Clint, but she’d never admit it. She would just say “Love is for children.” and walk away, if any one dared ask her. But right now, when it means everything she whispers in his ear… “Я люблю тебя. Не оставляй меня.” ( _ I love you. Do not leave me. _ )

Bucky understands what she said. He lifts his head just enough to make eye contact with her. After the slightest nod he lays his head back down. This is killing both of them.

Watching this scene unfold Steve feels like an outsider intruding on an intimate moment. Wishing there was more he could do, but knowing there isn’t, he turns and walks away. He can at least let Tony and Sam know how Clint is doing.

“How far out are we?” he asks.

“About 25 minutes. How’s he doing?” Sam doesn’t turn around. He needs to focus on getting them back safely. He doesn’t want to make eye contact with the Captain. The pain in his side is starting to get the best of him. It’s surely written all over his face. He doesn’t want to bother Tony right now, he’s busy speaking to Pepper. They’re working on getting the best medical staff, money can buy, assembled and waiting for their arrival. So he needs to suck it up and get them home. Then he can worry about his own injuries.

“He’s holding on. His breathing is worrying me, though. I’m sure he’s got some broken ribs. Maybe a punctured lung.” Steve is speaking, but his mind is racing. He zones out. What the hell happened back there? How could Tony’s intel have been so wrong? Now Bucky has more blood on his hands, not that there will be charges filed. Rumlow got what was coming to him. But Clint is down, Bucky almost got turned back into an assassin and the team is shaken. This mission couldn’t have gone more sideways. This is his team. His family. How could this happen under his watch? He’s the Captain, he feels a responsibility to keep them safe.  As unattainable as that may be. This failure is weighing heavy on his mind. He’s lost in thought when Tony breaks his concentration.

“It’s not your fault,”he says. “Barnes is right. This is all on me.”

“Tony, don’t… “ Steve isn’t going to shift the blame here. He agreed to the mission. He’s at fault. “...just, don’t. You all decided I’m the leader of this team. I agreed to the mission. I led us all into harm’s way. End of discussion.” As he turns to walk away he hears Sam say, “I don’t blame either of you. Every mission can’t end well. Period.”

The remainder of the flight is quiet. They are all lost in their own minds. Thoughts filled with what ifs and silent prayers to whoever may be listening.  


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team makes it back to the tower to get Clint help.   
> Bucky is so done with all of this and just wants to be by Clint's side.

There is a flurry of activity as they land. Nat and Bucky are anxious to get Clint the help he desperately needs. They flank the gurney he’s strapped to waiting to rush him to the MedLab. The back hatch is raised and a ramp extended, it’s taking to long. Bucky wants to just kick it open, grab Clint and run. He doesn’t have to. A team lead by Helen Cho is prepped and ready to whisk Clint away the moment the gurney rolls past the bottom of the ramp.

“We’ll take it from here.” Helen says. “He’s in good hands. I’ll send word when you can see him.”

Natasha and Bucky let go and watch as the doctor and nurses disappear out of sight. They wait for the rest of the team to join them and continue inside dazed.  

They reach the elevator and Steve breaks the silence. “I know we’re all worried. But you heard Dr. Cho. She’ll let us know when we can see him.” He pauses for a moment, thinking how his next statement isn’t going to be very well received.  “I think we should debrief. Get it over with.”

“Really, Steve? All business, huh?” Bucky doesn’t want to think about anything but Clint. How can Steve think he’d give a shit about a debrief right now? “Count me out. I’m heading down to medical.”

“Buck, I know you don’t want to do it, but it needs to get done. We have a job to do.” Steve feels like an ass for pressing the issue. He wants to get it done so he can go up to his floor. Guilt is weighing heavily on his mind he just wants to scream and maybe break something. 

“Ya know what? Fine!” Bucky snaps. “We don’t want anything getting in the way of our JOB,” he says as the elevator door opens and he pushes past Steve. He stomps toward the conference room. The door takes the brunt of his anger. The glass cracks as he yanks it open with his left hand. Tony doesn’t say anything just makes a mental note to reinforce the door for next time. 

They take their seats as Steve stands at the head of the table. “I know none of us want to be here right now but we need to figure out what went wrong out there.” Steve begins. “Tony, I’m not pointing fingers here but... can you verify where the intel you received came from?”

“It came from the same guy I’ve been using for the past 3 years. He’s never let me down before. I had no reason to doubt him this time,” Tony says in a clipped tone. 

Natasha shifts in her seat. “There was nothing that seemed off to you? Nothing at all?” she asks. “Did he contact you the same way he always has in the past?”

“He calls or texts a secure phone I set up. It’s encrypted and untraceable,” Tony responds. “He sent a text, knew the security code, nothing unusual.” 

“Nothing unusual except it was all BULLSHIT!” Bucky is losing his patience. He doesn’t want to be here. He needs to be with Clint. “Why don’t you try to figure out who really sent the message? I’ll bet you anything that dude is dead and you’re being played. Your ego got the best of you.” He turns his glare to the man seated across from him. “The great Tony Stark… as long as he’s the hero of the story fuck everyone else!”

“That’s not fair, Buck,” Steve interjects. “You can’t possibly think Tony would put his ego before our well being. I know you’re angry but I think it’s misplaced.”

“Ya know what, Steve, I think we’re done here. I can’t sit here playing guessing games while Clint is down in medical,” Bucky snaps as he pushes back from the table. “You know where I’ll be if you need me.” The crack in the glass door spreads as he exits. Tony cringes. He knows if Bucky had his way, it would be his head that was cracked not the glass. 

Sam is starting to sweat as the pain in his side increases. “If it’s all the same to you guys, maybe we can pick this up later?” He begins to get up, and falls back into his seat. 

“Sam!” Steve is alarmed. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?” he asks, as he walks around the table toward his friend.

“Umm… I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. I figured once we got Clint back I’d go get checked out. I think I have a problem though,” he says as he lifts his hand from his side. The blood covering his fingers confirms he definitely has a problem. 

“Damn it, Sam!!” Steve is concerned and a little angry. “Why didn’t you say you were hurt!?” he asks. 

“FRIDAY, alert medical we need transport from the conference room immediately!” Tony interrupts to call for assistance. Steve’s Captain lecture can wait till Sam isn’t actively bleeding. 

Steve applies pressure to the wound until the medical team arrives. He has the look of someone that wants to begin a, “What were you thinking?” speech, but transport is there in under two minutes. As Sam is wheeled away he assures them that he’s fine. 

Steve tries but can’t hold his tongue. “Are either of you hurt?” he says as he glares at Tony and Natasha. “Anyone else hiding something from me?”

“A few bumps, bruises and cuts. Nothing that needs medical attention, Cap. We’re good.” Tony responds. Natasha nods in agreement. 

“Alright then, we’re done here. We obviously need a little time,” he says with a sigh. “But Tony, you need to have FRIDAY run analysis on that intel you received. If Bucky is right, we need to figure out what happened and who’s behind it.”

“FRIDAY, you heard the Captain. Begin analysis, kick over every rock until you find something,” Tony says seemingly to no one.

“Yes, boss. Right away,” the AI responds.

“Alright, I need to go find Bucky, and check on Clint and Sam,” Steve says. “I’ll see you down there.” 

After Steve is out of sight, Natasha turns to Tony with a very serious expression on her face. It gives him the chills; he shudders at the thought of what’s coming.

“I know you didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I’d like to think the only life you're comfortable recklessly endangering is your own. However, if something like this happens again, there won’t be anything left of you to bury.” Natasha doesn’t give him a chance to respond. She’s gone in a flash leaving him alone with his thoughts. His self deprecating, guilt ridden thoughts. 

He wipes away the single tear that falls from his eye.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. Only no one is there to hear it. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky, Sam and Clint exhibit how stubborn they can be.   
> Clint is healing and driving Bucky crazy.

Steve finds Bucky sitting in the hallway outside MedLab. He’s leaning forward, arms braced on his thighs, head in his hands. He sits beside his friend, places his hand on his back and tries to comfort him. “He’s gonna be okay, Buck.” he says quietly. “He’s one of strongest people I’ve ever met.”

Bucky shakes Steve’s hand off of his back. He’s not in the mood for platitudes. There’s nothing anybody can say that will make this any better. He doesn’t want to hear from anyone except Dr. Cho; and even then, only if she’s going to tell him that the man he loves is going to be okay.

“Don’t, Steve. I don’t want to hear it,” Bucky snaps. “Only way I’m gonna believe he’ll be okay is if the Doc comes out here and tells me herself. Until then you can just—”

“Sergeant Barnes?” A nurse appears in the doorway. She has a blank expression on her face. Bucky’s chest tightens. “You can see Agent Barton now. Dr. Cho is waiting for you in his room.”

Bucky leaps to his feet, and anxiously follows the nurse to Clint’s room. He isn’t prepared for what he sees. “Oh, God,” is all he can manage. 

“Hello, Sergeant. I’m Dr. Helen Cho. I’m sorry we aren’t meeting under better circumstances.”  The doctor extends her hand, Bucky takes her hand in his, and gives a gentle shake. 

“How…” he swallows hard against his words. “How is he?” The question is asked; but he’s not entirely sure he wants an answer. There are countless wires and tubes, machines whirring and beeping. He’s wrapped in bandages, arm in a cast. Right now it’s doesn’t look like the answer Bucky’s going to get is anywhere near what he wants to hear.                                                                

“Let me start by telling you Agent Barton is in serious condition…” Bucky’s head begins to swim. He forces himself to focus and hear the doctor out. “... but I’m confident he will recover.” As she finishes her sentence Bucky relaxes and breathes a sigh of relief. “However, it will take time. He has several broken bones as well as a punctured lung. The blood loss he suffered has weakened him significantly so it may be a few days before he wakes up.” Patience was never one of Bucky’s strong suits. He resigns himself to the fact he won’t be leaving the room until Clint is awake, and well enough to leave with him, no matter how long it takes. 

“You might want to go get some rest. He will be well taken care of. You have my word,” Dr. Cho assures him. 

Yeah, that’s not happening. They way he feels right now, he’s not letting Clint out of his sight. 

“Thanks, doc. But I’m fine right where I am. I’m not leaving unless he’s walking out of here with me,” Bucky informs her. 

“Sergeant Barnes, I can see you’re injured as well. May I take a look?” the doctor asks.

“Nah, I’m fine. It’ll be like it never happened in a couple more hours. Only thing that goddamn serum is good for.”

“упрямый, как всегда.”(Stubborn, as always.) Natasha appears in the doorway. “But seriously, Barnes, go get cleaned up. Take a hot shower and relax for a little while. I’ll stay right here until you get back.” He’s taken aback by the caring expression on her face. Any expression on Natasha’s face is usually cause for concern. 

“I’m not leaving. So save it!” he snaps back. “I guess Steve is right behind you, waiting to drag me outta here?”

“Actually, he went to check on Sam, and hopefully I convinced him to take a break. He’s beating himself up about everything that happened. He thinks it’s his fault for listening to Tony without solid proof of where the intel came from,” she says with a sigh. “Everyone around here is so dramatic. Things happen. Missions fail,” She pauses and looks into his eyes. “people get hurt. It’s part of the job. It’s what we signed up for. Now, please go,” she says, an attempt at a smile on her lips. “At least take a shower. Do you think Clint wants to wake up to you sitting here looking, and smelling, like this?”

“You think you’re funny, don’t you?” he asks. “I’m not in the mood, Natasha.” His gaze shifts to the man laying in the bed, motionless. “Not now.”  The exhausted man slumps down into the chair next to Clint’s bed. He sits back, tips his head toward the ceiling, and takes a deep breath. As he let’s it out his breath shakes a little. He feels like he’s going to cry; his heart is slamming in his chest. Maybe he should listen to Nat and go take a shower and try to relax. He’s not going to do Clint any good if he can’t control his emotions. 

“You’re no good to him if you don’t take care of yourself.” She tries one last time to convince him and hopes he’s actually listening to her. 

“Ебать (Fuck)... fine, you win,” he huffs. “I’ll only be gone a few minutes. Don’t you dare leave him alone. Not for one second, Natasha. I’m not fucking kidding.” 

She knows that’s not a idle threat. “I’m not going anywhere,” she promises.

Bucky gets up and leans over to kiss Clint on the forehead. “I’ll be right back. I love you,” he says softly. 

As he turns to walk toward the door he can hear Natasha whisper. “I love him too, ya know?” 

He nods and continues on his way up to his floor. As he waits for the elevator, it hits him. This is not how this was supposed to go. This is not anything he ever wanted to feel. The sudden jumble of emotions is overwhelming. He doesn’t know what hurts more, the fact that the man his loves is seriously injured, or the fact that the recklessness of one of his teammates is partly to blame for it. The ride up to his floor takes seconds, it feels like hours.

Once Bucky arrives on his floor he can’t get out of the elevator fast enough. He feels out of control, panicked. He rushes to the bathroom and begins peeling off his tac gear. Everything feels like lead almost like he’s moving through mud. He turns the water all the way toward hot. Maybe he can burn the pain away.

Steam fills the room. He steps into the shower with his back to the hot streaming water. Bracing  himself against the wall, he tries to relax; it’s not working. After a few deep breaths the tears begin spilling from his eyes. He would never even think about letting the team see him ugly cry. Here, all alone, he lets it out. He finally let’s it all out. A scream that tears at his throat is only his to hear. His tears are washed away. If only the events of the last 2 days could be.  

Bucky knows he has to pull himself together and get back to Clint. A few deep breaths later he quickly washes his hair, gives his body a once over and and decides that’s good enough for now. He steps out of the shower, begins to dry off and suddenly catches his reflection in the mirror. There’s a gash in his head right at the hairline, scrapes and bruises cover his arm and torso. He runs his fingers over a few of his wounds. They don’t hurt as badly as they look. Some are almost healed already. He wishes Clint could heal as quickly as he does. 

Once he’s dressed Bucky heads back to the medical floor. As he steps off the elevator he sees Steve walking down the hallway.

“Hey… Stevie,” he calls out to his friend. He should at least find out how Sam is doing before he holes up in Clint’s room for the foreseeable future. 

Steve turns and walks back to meet Bucky. “Hey, pal,” he says, trying put smile on his face. “How ya holdin’ up?”  

“I’m tryin’. I think I’m okay… for now,” he responds. “But, listen… I’m sorry about earlier. I kinda lost it and took it out on you. You didn’t deserve that.” 

“I accept your apology but it’s not needed. I understand you were upset and it was totally warranted”.

Bucky doesn’t want to argue with him so he changes the subject. “How’s Sam?” Even though they don’t always see eye to eye, he’s actually grown pretty fond of the guy. He really is concerned as hard as that would be for some to believe. 

“He’s okay. He got lucky. It could’ve been way worse. His tac gear slowed the bullet down. He actually made it a little worse by ignoring it for all that time.”

“He’s as stubborn as we are, I guess. He fits right in.” Bucky says, a small smirk tugging at his lip. “Well, tell him I’m glad he’s okay. I have to get back to Clint. Oh, one more thing,” he puts his hand on Steve’s shoulder. “don’t blame yourself for this, Steve. It’s not your fault. Someone very wise once told me ‘Things happen, missions fail and people get hurt. It’s part of the job. It’s what we signed up for’ and they were right. Now stop beating yourself up and go take a shower. You stink.” 

A smile spreads across Steve’s face as he gives Bucky a slight shove. “Yeah, I’m going, jerk. I’ll be back to check on you. Make sure you eat… and sleep. You have to take care of yourself if you want to take care of him.” As he turns to head toward the elevator he adds, “Don’t give me that look. I’m just as wise as Nat is.” He looks back at Bucky, winks and walks away.

“PUNK!” Bucky calls after him with a smirk on his face.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

**5 weeks later**

“Come on, Bucky. I told you I can do it!!”

“Yeah well, the fact that your head is trapped in your shirt right now determines that’s a lie.”

“Aww shirt, no!”

Bucky watches Clint struggle a few seconds longer before helping him to finish getting dressed. They have an appointment with Dr. Cho in 10 minutes and Clint is not making the process of getting ready very easy. On the other hand Bucky is grateful he’s here with Clint and not still sitting next to his hospital bed hoping he wakes up. It was the worst 2 weeks of Bucky’s life. Any of the physical pain he’d suffered was nothing compared to what that wait felt like. The hardest part was trying not to think about what he would do if he lost Clint. He doesn’t think he would be able to control the Soldier if that happened. He’d most likely be the one the team was sent to stop because there would be no saving him. Not a chance. 

Once the dressing struggle is over the next hurdle can begin. Getting Clint to use his crutches has been an ongoing battle. 

“Okay, let me get your crutches and we can go,” Bucky says matter of factly. 

“How about no? I can walk without them, Buck! It’s been 5 weeks. Gimme a break!” is the whiney response. 

“Don’t start with me, Barton! When they doc says you can lose the crutches, you can lose the crutches. Until then YOU ARE USING THE GODDAMN CRUTCHES! End of story. Conversation over,” Bucky commands. 

“Fine. Let’s get this over with. And when she tells me I can lose these stupid things I’ll humbly accept your non verbal apology,” Clint quips. 

Bucky rolls his eyes and points toward the door. “Move it.” At this rate they’re going to be late. 

“Sir, yes, sir!” Clint mocks Bucky with a half assed salute and begins his labored walk to the elevator. 

Two weeks out of bed and he still hasn’t mastered the crutches.  _ He’s a walking talking disaster. How can he not be a pro at walking with crutches by now?  _ Bucky thinks as he smiles and tries not to laugh at the awkward flailing happening in front of him. __ He should grab his phone and take some video for the team to enjoy later but he doesn’t know where it is and they’re already late.  __

They arrive at the appointment 5 minutes late, but Dr. Cho doesn’t seem bothered. “Good to see you, Agent Barton… Sergeant Barnes,” she greets them and shakes their hands. “Please have a seat on the table, Agent.” 

“Clint. Please, just call me Clint. And he’s Bucky. No need to be formal. It’s just us,” Clint says with a broad crooked smile. 

“Very well, Clint. Let’s get started, she says. 

 

  ~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Will you slow down?!”

“Hell no!! I’ve been waiting weeks to lose those damn crutches. Oh and by the way,” Clint stops his quick getaway to look “sternly” at his boyfriend  “I lied, I’d like a verbal apology.”

Bucky glares at him.

“Yup, not working. I can wait. Anytime you’re ready.” he continues on his way, eager to tell the team he’s no longer on “Injured Reserve”. He’s moved up to the “Disabled List” and any day now he’ll be cleared for active duty. 

Bucky watches as Clint limps away calling out to the team. “Hey guys!! I’m back!! Not 100% back, but back-ish!!” All he can do is shake his head and smile to himself. This all could have ended so differently. He doesn’t know what life would be like without Clint by his side, and he’s thankful he doesn't have to find out. 

**Author's Note:**

> Beta'd by Caramell0w


End file.
